While talking with an older friend about my struggles with finding a job, especially during COVID-19 times, I told her this line “I have so many talents, so many dreams, but it’s so hard to choose which of them will be my ‘life’s goal’”.
Why do I have to choose one option as if life is a game of sims. I love doing so many things, I like drawing, I like designing, I like fashion, I like interior decoration, I like graphic design, I like kdramas, I like writing, I like making up stories, why do I have to choose one, and why is no one accepting my attempts to follow my dream? Why is it so hard to find a job? Why is it so unrealistic? Why didn’t they teach us that in university instead of making us sit at our desks for hours and hours doing thinks no one will ask from us anymore?
I tried starting a fashion business with my mom, we did everything on our own, I did the decor, we collaborated on designs, I made the logo and business card, it was our dream, and then COVID-19 hit and as a small business in uncertain times we decided to it’s best to close the shop. Later on actually many of the bigger shops in that street either closed or reduced their size, COVID-19 hit us all differently.
“you don’t have enough experience”, “you’re applying for a job that’s different from your degree, so you don’t have what it takes”, “you’re young we don’t want to waste resources on you”, “you’re a female, you’ll just get married and have kids and waste the time we spent on you”, “you’re old enough, why aren’t you working yet?”, “are you going to get married anytime soon”…
Why do we keep hearing these things? What’s in it for the people if I, a female in my 20s, didn’t have a job or a husband? Whose clock am I following? Am I really behind? Did I waste my life already? Where did I go wrong? Did I choose the wrong hobbies and talents?
I started Instagram for fun and I was about to get scammed several times by getting DMs of people wanting to choose me as their “influencer”, but I’ve always been extremely careful that I didn’t believe them (I had to google some things to make sure), but that led me to discover blogs and how that can be a source to combine all of my dreams. But it was not something I learned, it’s something I’m trying to discover. Is this the answer to my multi dreams?
One of the things I learned early on was “choose your topic”, and I had to think again and again, am I going back to choosing one? I chose answer S, to be all I want to be, so in this blog, though it might look unorganized, this is a reflection of me and my rainbow talents.